Intuitive Eating for Emotional Eating: A Beginner’s Guide to Healing Your Relationship with Food
Do you ever wonder if you will spend your life feeling caught in a web with your eating, dieting, and relationship to your body? If you’ve ever felt trapped in a cycle of dieting, emotional eating, and guilt around food, you’re not alone. Many women struggle with their relationship with food, often feeling out of control or using food to cope with emotions. But what if you could break free from the guilt, trust your body, and eat without obsession or fear? That’s exactly what intuitive eating helps you do.
This guide will introduce you to intuitive eating for emotional eating, explain why traditional dieting fails, and give you actionable steps to start healing your relationship with food today. If you have long wondered if there is an actual solution to healing a long-withstanding issue with eating, food, and your body, read on!
What Is Intuitive Eating? (And How It Can Help Emotional Eating)
Intuitive eating is an evidence-based, anti-diet approach to food that helps you listen to your body’s natural hunger and fullness cues. Created by dietitians Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, intuitive eating is designed to help people recover from disordered eating, food guilt, and yo-yo dieting.
Unlike restrictive diets, intuitive eating is about:
Rejecting food rules and diet culture
Allowing all foods without guilt or shame
Tuning into hunger and fullness cues
Eating for nourishment and satisfaction
Breaking the cycle of emotional eating
It’s not a weight-loss program or a strict eating plan—it’s a way to heal your relationship with food and regain trust in your body.
Why Emotional Eating Feels Hard to Break (and How Intuitive Eating Helps)
If you’ve ever said:
“If I let myself eat freely, I’ll never stop.”
“I don’t trust myself around food.”
“I eat to cope with stress, sadness, or boredom.”
…you’re not alone.
When you’ve spent years dieting and restricting, food naturally becomes emotional. We learn to label foods as “good” or “bad,” which often leads to a binge-restrict cycle. The issue, so many women who have an unhealthy relationship with food, swing back and forth on what I call, “the pendulum swing” from restrictive eating, to bingeing, back to restrictive eating and a new diet, to bingeing and feeling shame. It never ends. Nor do most women ever reach a weight where they feel, at long last, all of the emotions of happiness their diet promised them.
How Dieting Fuels Emotional Eating
Restricting food makes cravings stronger.
Labeling foods as “bad” makes them more tempting.
Ignoring hunger leads to overeating later.
Using food for comfort becomes a habit when emotions feel overwhelming.
I want you to read those again, but slower this time. I know on some level, the above makes sense. The question then is: why do we continue to fall victim to a restrict/binge cycle that has never gotten us to it’s purported promised land? The long and short of it is: Patriachal and Capitalistic values love imposing impossible beauty standards on women, and selling a “thin ideal” to us in every way imaginable. You don’t need to beat yourself up for getting to this unhealthy point with your body and food, but take a moment to reflect on the cycles of eating you have engaged in. Does the way you eat food feel healthy for your body and spirit? If not, what behaviors and thoughts are prohibiting that healthy relationship?
Intuitive eating helps to break this cycle by removing food rules, honoring hunger, and finding healthier ways to cope with emotions.
The 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating (and How to Apply Them to Emotional Eating)
1. Reject the Diet Mentality
Stop chasing the latest weight-loss trend. Diets don’t work long-term—intuitive eating does. If you doubt this, one of my go-to exercises for clients is to have them write down every diet they’ve ever done, every single one. Write it in a column, approximate start date and end date, how it felt during, why you stopped, and how you felt afterwards. The point of this exercise is to show you irrefutable evidence that every iteration of this cycle is simply the same, disguised in another diet’s promise. The diet’s themselves are NOT sustainable and it is not you that failed, it is the diets themselves that do not work.
2. Honor Your Hunger
Ignoring hunger leads to overeating and cravings. Listen to your body’s signals. When you ignore your hunger you set yourself up for a binge later on.
I call this concept Food Insecurity. We become food insecure when we ignore hunger signals and our body starts to mistrust we will feed it. It then get’s angrier at us until it is screaming and we cannot ignore it anymore. Pervasive Food Insecurity is when we have dieted for so many years that in our soul we have an emotional deficit of feeling like any food is ever enough.
So when you compare yourself to friends who seem to be “normal eaters,” who can order a cheeseburger, fries, and a chocolate shake and simply stop when they’re full, it’s because they do not have a nagging emotional deficit of food insecurity. They know they can have the cheeseburger, which paradoxically allows them to stop intuitively.
But when you’ve been told your whole life that you’re too big, you need to lose weight, or you should stop eating, you constantly feel like you’re not allowed to have the food, no matter what it is or how much there is. So even when you do let yourself order the cheeseburger, fries, and chocolate shake, you tend to eat past your full point because as you eat, your soul starves for emotional permission to eat, but is never satiated because the pervasive feeling within you is: you always need to be eating less. That constant core-wound message is why for many of us, we feel we could eat forever and ever, like a bottomless well.
Intuitive eating is an empirically supported, cognitive-behavioral approach to re-wiring the above in you.
3. Make Peace with Food
Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. When food isn’t forbidden, it loses its power. This is perhaps the most difficult aspect for a client struggling with their eating and body image to accept. The resistance to this rule is one, single, driving fear: If I give myself unconditional permission to eat, then I will never stop, and I will eat candy for breakfast, two taco bowls for lunch with all the fixings, a whole pizza for dinner, and a whole box of Oreos afterwards. — Yup. Go on, anything else? See, you WILL do that, and more. And I am not convinced you’d actually keep up with that intuitively, forever.
The thing is, there is a huge difference between simply eating all of that food and more every single day, as we mentally dissociate, and eating all of that food and more every single day and giving ourselves emotional permission to actually be eating it. When you are eating foods that your brain considers “bad,”do you actually feel like you’re allowed to be eating them? Do you enjoy them with gusto, savor every bite, and truly take delight in the entirety of the eating experience? Or, do you inhale the food so quickly you forget you’re even in your body, and for a moment, you feel a sweet relief to be disconnected?
For every single one of my clients, and myself, it was the latter, never the former. Harkening back to what I stated in point #2, when you have a pervasive feeling of food insecurity, meaning you have internalized from early attachment figures, friends, grandparents, classmates, pop-culture, and the world, that you are only worthy if you eat less and get to a thin size, then every single time you eat, you do so with a degree of shame, conscious or not. This very shame, also perpetuates the emotional eating itself, to dissociate from the body.
When you embark on the intuitive eating journey one of the most important aspects is for you to practice, every day, eating with unconditional permission to eat. This will not come easily, but every day you have a chance to practice. I promise you, that if you fully allow yourself to eat whatever you want, as much as you want, for months and months, and even longer, you will eventually disconnect whatever it is your soul is searching for, with food. Because the food will have been had, but there will still be feelings to be dealt with. But it will become clear: it was never about the food.
4. Challenge the Food Police
Silence the voice in your head that labels food as “good” or “bad.” This part is essential to aiding in the above. We all have internalized messages about various foods, some of us have internalized more negative connotations than others due to the bullying of our bodies. Take time to reflect upon your associations with foods from all over the spectrum. What do you associate with Pop-tarts? Hot-pockets? Gushers? Peanut butter cups? How about, steak? Carbonara? Butter? Maple Syrup?
You may immediately hear a voice in your head judge some foods and recoil at others. Why is that? Or maybe there is no voice at all and it’s just reactions. Write them down and bring a gentle curiosity to where these beliefs came from.
Food is neither inherently bad or good. It just is and exists within a larger context. We give it meaning. Yes, some foods are more nutritionally dense than others. Some foods may provide more comfort or nostalgia to you than others. Some may bring more delight or novelty. Some may provide more fuel. Dismantling the food police allows us to re-discover food for ourself, instead of defaulting to the connotations we inherited from our early influences.
The bottom line is: as long as your inner food police taunts you with how you’re always eating wrong, or always eating “bad” foods, you will never be able to feel permission to eat and discover for yourself what your true experience of said food is.
5. Discover the Satisfaction Factor
Eating should be enjoyable, not just about fueling your body. Choose foods that satisfy both your body and mind. The beauty of this process is that it is about learning all over how to eat and enjoy food. Through mindful eating, you pay close attention.
Choose any food you wish to have a corrective experience with. Perhaps it is a freshly baked, hot and crispy, french baguette with some savory uncultured salted butter from the farmer’s market. Ensure you have turned off any distracting devices and can fully immerse yourself in the experience.
Take a bite, and notice. Is it salty? Hot? Does it melt in your mouth? Is it a rapture of deliciousness? Doe sit disappoint in any way? If so, how? Would it be better warmer? Cooler? Paired with something? Give yourself permission to experiment with the sensation of eating. Give yourself total permission to enjoy the process of eating and to be satisfied as you eat.
This process helps heal the inner wound of food insecurity within, that makes us feel pervasively starved of that goodness. When we eat with a delightful mindfulness and pleasure is not only allowed to happen, but is the goal, we can restore the parts in us that were once lost when we were told not to enjoy our food.
6. Feel Your Fullness
Pause during meals and ask yourself: Am I still enjoying this? Am I comfortably full? Checking in while eating may be a new experience for you, especially if you are used to eating in a manner with little to no connection with your physical body. Intuitive Eating is about restoring that connection, little by little.
If you’re struggling to remember to check in while eating, it may be a sign you aren’t using enough mindfulness during the process. Slow down and really ensure you are not distracted in any way, and that eating has your full attention. If you are still struggling, it may be helpful to set a peaceful timer for 5-10 minutes into your eating as a gentle check in. The goal is that over time, you are able to do this on your own as you get better with mindful eating.
I love to use scales and so I might suggest checking in on your fullness using a 1-10 scale with 10 being the most full you could be. Ideally we stop around anywhere between a 5.5-7.5 for comfortability and attunement. But you can experiment with this as well. Before you begin mindfully eating, rate your hunger level as well. Perhaps you are a 7 out of 10. Begin eating and as you eat notice how you fair on the fullness scale. Are you a 5 yet? a 6? Try to hit the bullseye or your bliss point, where you feel satiated, but dont overshoot the runway and overeat to a point of discomfort. This takes practice, so give yourself grace as you navigate this principle.
7. Cope with Emotions Without Using Food
Food can be comforting, but it’s not the only way to handle stress. Once you begin giving yourself full permission to eat whatever you want, both literally and emotionally, and you practice mindfully enjoying the experience, the food itself begins to lose it’s “charge.” What do I mean by that? Well, when we restrict food, it gains a sort of power over us. Have you ever noticed that when you’ve gone a while denying yourself certain foods, you become more enthralled by the idea of them?
When we consistently allow ourselves to eat what we want, and we ensure we are also giving ourselves emotional permission to be eating it, we begin to realize food is just food. It is not this almighty powerful dopamine hit, it is not this all-powerful substance that we can’t control ourselves over. It is just food.
This means though that we are left with whatever emotions we we’re avoiding when we originally turned to food. Make a commitment to processing your emotions dutifully as an act of self love. There are so many ways for us to metabolize feelings and feel them beyond using food as a distraction.
You may try journaling, a guided meditation, working out, slamming pillows, simply being and breathing with the emotion. A therapist can help you with this practice if you feel ill-equipped to process your emotions on your own. Know that you don’t have to figure this out all by yourself.
8. Respect Your Body
Your body deserves care regardless of its size. Treat it with kindness, not punishment. This principle really invites a corrective experience to our overarching relationship with our bodies. So many of us have internalized such a negative inner critic towards our bodies. It is not your fault if you were harassed and tormented by these messages growing up, but why perpetuate them against yourself into adulthood? When does it stop?
For many of my clients, we explore their systemic values and how they are vehemently against the patriarchy or capitalism body shaming women. I encourage them to continue educating themselves on how beauty standards function as a weapon—especially when less than 1% of the population fits into them.
The healing is not just about food and eating. Remember where those issues derive from: the external pressure to alter your body to fit into a cultural ideal. Dismantling that ideal as oppressive, harmful, false, unattainable and more will aid your healing, and prevent a return back to diets and the restrict/binge cycle.
9. Movement—Feel the Difference
Exercise for joy and energy, not just calorie-burning. Find movement that makes you feel good. Some people need a break from intentional movement, such as working out, after developing a distorted relationship with fitness. When movement starts to feel like a form of atonement rather than a source of well-being, stepping back can be necessary for healing.. In so much, I encourage any and all breaks. Take as much time away as you need from movement and the pressure to move.
Only when you’re ready, after you have taken a long hiatus and you feel a true intuitive pull to move your body, then you can embark on joyful movement. Whatever it is, do it with total intuitive freedom and joy. It is not about atoning anymore. It is about fostering trust back within your body. You’ll know if you’re doing it right because it will feel like you can stop at anytime, even 1 minute in, without any negative self talk waiting for you. It will also feel joyful. If it is not feeling joyful, perhaps stop and give yourself permission to return to a hiatus from joyful movement until you feel ready to explore it once more.
Sometimes, it simply takes trial and error to discover what sorts of movement you even find enjoyable. Some women find a love for swimming and being in the water, unleashing their inner mermaid. Others feel their best when dancing to some spicy choreography and music. The liberating thing is that it’s up to you to listen to yourself and no one else, about what feels good for YOU!
10. Honor Your Health with Gentle Nutrition
Healthy eating isn’t about perfection. Balance, variety, and flexibility matter more than strict rules. Gentle nutrition can be broached only after one feels they have corrected their food insecurity and have felt food secure for a long time. That means that in your intuitive eating journey, you’ve been practicing unconditional permission to eat for so long and so well that certain foods you once felt intense cravings for are now collecting dust in the pantry or freezer burn in the freezer. You start to notice you are feeling secure that you can have the chocolate chip cookies anytime, really! And you do!
Now that you’ve been food secure for a very long time, you can begin exploring with mixing in nutritionally dense foods to your eating. For many folks this part may bring up just as many emotions as the other foods, but in a different way. Perhaps you have connotations to these foods like they automatically taste bad because you used to eat them when dieting. Or perhaps you always cooked them in such a way that they were devoid of any and all flavor. Now is the time to gently explore and play around with incorporating more attuned nutrition into your eating.
If this process feels too triggering, it is likely too soon. Give yourself more time to increase your food security and this principle will be here when you’re ready.
How to Start Intuitive Eating (Without Feeling Overwhelmed)
If you’re new to intuitive eating, the idea of eating whatever you want might feel scary. But you don’t have to figure it out overnight. You can begin by gentle exploring various introductions to the principles at your own pace. Attunement to yourself is key.
Here are five simple steps to get started:
1. Start Noticing Your Hunger and Fullness
Before eating, ask yourself:
Am I physically hungry or emotionally hungry?
What would feel satisfying right now?
How does my body feel before and after eating?
No pressure to change—just observe. This is an easy enough jumpstart to mindful eating and you can incorporate these reflective questions at your own pace.
2. Challenge One Food Rule at a Time
If you fear certain foods, introduce them slowly and mindfully. You might be surprised that they lose their power once they’re no longer forbidden. Think of a food you are ready to try mindful eating with and begin with that. The point of intuitive eating is to listen to yourself and build self efficacy as you go.
If giving yourself permission to have everything you want at your favorite restaurant feels like too much permission to start, begin with something more tolerable and work your way up.
3. Practice Self-Compassion Instead of Food Guilt
Self compassion is an essential ingredient to healing your relationship with your body and food. Think of it as an antidote to shame, because it is. The key though is not merely knowing you’re supposed to be compassionate towards yourself, but actually practice it!
Instead of thinking, “I was bad for eating this,” try,“I gave my body what it needed in that moment.”
“One meal doesn’t define my health.” Take some time to reflect upon some food affirmations that would really soothe you during your eating and that promote emotional permission to enjoy what you eat. The more you engage in active compassion, the faster you will heal the core-wound of not being enough and not having enough within you.
4. Find Non-Food Ways to Cope with Emotions
Coping with emotions without food, when we are used to doing it with food can feel scary and leave us feeling at a loss as to what to do. This has to be an experimental process in which there will be a learning curve. Give yourself grace as you experiment with different methods to process your feelings.
If you turn to food for comfort, try:
Journaling about your feelings
Going for a walk to clear your mind
Calling a friend for support
Food is allowed, but it shouldn’t be your only coping mechanism. If you feel stuck on how to process your emotions, working with a therapist can help you learn how to do that without using food.
5. Seek Support When You Need It
Healing from disordered eating or emotional eating can be challenging. Consider working with a therapist or intuitive eating coach for guidance. This journey can be a doozy when we go at it alone, and while it’s not impossible, I have found that most people who have struggled with disordered eating, do best in recovery when they have the help of a therapist who can point out when they’re sliding back into diet mentality or shaming their body.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve Peace with Food
Healing your relationship with food isn’t about getting it perfect—it’s about learning to trust yourself again. Wherever you are on this journey, know that: You are not broken.You deserve to eat without guilt. Food freedom is possible.
Are you ready to break free from food guilt and emotional eating? Start small, be kind to yourself, and know that healing is possible. Curious to learn more? Schedule a Free 15 minute phone consultation.