What Does It Mean to Be Sex Positive? A Guide to Embracing Sexual Positivity
Sex Positivity, Without the Jargon
Let’s be honest—"sex positive" sounds like a buzzword, right? Maybe you’ve seen it on dating profiles such as Bumble, Hinge, or Feeld. Or perhaps you’ve heard it tossed around on social media. But what does it actually mean to be sex positive? And do you have to wear latex and love group sex to be part of the club? (Spoiler alert: absolutely not.)
Sex positivity is a way of approaching sex, relationships, and even self-worth with openness, consent, and curiosity. It's about letting go of shame, not assigning moral value to sexual choices, and creating space for all kinds of healthy sexual expressions. Whether you’re celibate, kinky, monogamous, polyamorous, vanilla, queer, or questioning—it all counts.
In this post, we’re breaking down what sex positivity really means, where the idea comes from, and how it can change the way you relate to yourself and others. Consider this your warm, judgment-free guide to all things sex positive.
What Is Sex Positivity, Really?
If you’ve spent any time on dating apps or social media lately, chances are you’ve seen the term sex positive pop up. Maybe you’ve wondered: what does that really mean? Is it just a cute way to say “I’m into sex”? Isn’t everyone sex positive these days? Or is it shorthand for someone who’s into kink, poly, or something more out there? It’s easy to assume or misunderstand when there’s no context. But actually, sex positivity has a very real—and powerful—meaning. Understanding it not only shifts how you read someone’s dating profile, but it can also change the way you relate to your own sexuality.
Sex positivity is the belief that all consensual sexual activities are fundamentally healthy and should be approached without shame or judgment.
It’s rooted in the idea that sexuality is a natural and valid part of being human—and everyone deserves the freedom to explore, define, and express their sexuality in a way that feels right for them.
This doesn’t mean that more sex equals better sex or that certain sexual expressions are superior. It’s about respect—for yourself and others. It’s a radical approach to sexuality that pushes back against political, religious, and cultural systems that profit from sexual shame—especially when that shame is disproportionately aimed at marginalized groups like women of color, LGBTQ+ folks, and fat individuals.
Sex Positive Meaning: A Quick Breakdown
Let’s break what sex positive means even further to really paint the picture. Here are some values that make someone sex positive.
Consent is everything. Enthusiastic, informed, and mutual.
No moral hierarchy. Being sexually active, celibate, kinky, vanilla, or curious are all valid.
Body and gender inclusivity. Embracing all shapes, sizes, genders, and identities.
Openness to communication. Talking about boundaries, desires, and feelings.
Sex ed matters. Knowing your body and rights is empowering.
So, when we talk about the sex positive meaning, we’re really talking about values: respect, consent, inclusion, and agency. It is an empowering framework aims to reframe not only how we view sex, but also how we have it.
Why Being Sex Positive is Important
Let’s face it: sex is controversial. It’s one of the easiest topics to moralize, politicize, and monetize. Because of that, it’s become a battleground—where power gets weaponized and shame gets sold, especially at the expense of marginalized communities. Women, queer folks, trans people, people of color, fat bodies—all have historically been targeted by systems that benefit from controlling sexuality.
And yet, sex can also be one of the most beautiful, connective, and transformative parts of being human. We’re not just animals driven by instinct. We’re emotional, conscious beings capable of expressing intimacy, vulnerability, creativity, and love through sex.
That’s why choosing to be sex positive is more than just a personal philosophy—it’s a political stance. It’s a rebellion against patriarchal, religious, and capitalist forces that have long dictated who gets to feel empowered by their sexuality and who doesn’t. To be sex positive is to say: I believe in consent, education, inclusivity, and respect—for myself and others. It’s a refusal to carry inherited shame. It’s a choice to help reshape the cultural narrative around sex into one that centers agency, humanity, and care.
The Roots of the Sex Positivity Movement
The term "sex positivity" has been around since at least the 1960s but grew momentum in the feminist, LGBTQ+, and sex education movements. It pushed back against centuries of sex negativity—especially toward women, queer folks, and people of color.
Sex positivity also intersects with:
The feminist movement, which fought for sexual freedom and bodily autonomy.
LGBTQ+ liberation, recognizing diverse expressions of love and desire.
The sex worker rights movement, which challenges stigma and fights for agency.
Today, sex positivity has become a global cultural conversation—but it’s still deeply personal.
GGG Meaning (good, giving, game)
You may have seen the term “GGG”—short for “good, giving, and game”—on dating apps or floating around the internet. Coined by sex columnist Dan Savage, it’s become a kind of shorthand for being sex positive. At its core, GGG reflects the values of being a generous, open-minded, and informed sexual partner—someone who shows up with care, curiosity, and a willingness to explore (within reason).
As the term has gained popularity, though, it’s important not to take it at face value. Just like “sex positive,” “GGG” can mean different things to different people—and unfortunately, some folks use these terms as buzzwords to seem more evolved or sexually savvy than they actually are. That’s why it’s worth asking someone what these phrases mean to them. Their response can reveal a lot about their actual values, level of self-awareness, and whether they truly embody a respectful, informed approach to sex—or if they’re just trying to fast-track intimacy without doing the work.
In short: don’t assume that someone who calls themselves “GGG” or “sex positive” walks the talk. Ask questions. Look for alignment. Let actions speak louder than acronyms.
Common Misconceptions About Being Sex Positive
It’s easy to hear the term “sex positive” and immediately go to thoughts of someone having tons of sex, attending sex parties, and being into really kinky shit. And hey, while they may be and there’s nothing wrong with any of that— that’s not at all what sex positivity is about. Let’s bust some myths:
MYTH 1: Sex positivity = lots of sex.
Nope. Sex positivity isn’t about quantity. It’s about quality, intention, and freedom. You can be sex positive and not have sex at all.
MYTH 2: You have to be into kink or ENM/polyamory.
Also false. Those can be part of a sex positive life—but so can monogamy, celibacy, or vanilla sex.
MYTH 3: Sex positivity means saying yes to everything.
Hard no. Consent includes the right to say no.
MYTH 4: It’s only for certain people.
Wrong again. Sex positivity is for everyone, regardless of gender, orientation, relationship structure, or experience.
Hopefully this helps clear up some of the confusion. Sex positivity isn’t about reckless abandon or living a sex-crazed life. It’s about cultivating a thoughtful, intentional, and values-based relationship with sex—both with yourself and with others. At its core, it’s a belief in consensual, empowering, and inclusive sexual expression. It’s not a label that describes someone’s sex life; it’s a value system that shapes how they approach sexuality.
Ideally, by now, sex positivity is starting to sound like something you already are—or something you’re excited to grow into. Because ultimately, embracing sex positivity leads to healthier, more authentic relationships with sex, with others, and most importantly, with yourself.
Real-Life Examples of Sex Positivity
So what does being sex positive actually look like?
Talking openly with your partner about what feels good—and what doesn’t.
Asking for consent every time, even in long-term relationships.
Exploring your desires without guilt or shame.
Staying informed about sex, bodies, and boundaries—because knowledge empowers healthier, more respectful dynamics.
Respecting someone else’s choice not to engage sexually.
Creating inclusive spaces for conversations about sex.
Not shaming others for their sexual choices
Supporting others’ sexual choices—when those choices are rooted in consent, self-awareness, and emotional alignment.
Challenging STI stigma instead of using it to shame or police others’ sexuality.
Whether it’s saying “yes” to your first toy, or “no” to sex when you’re not in the mood, sex positivity is about tuning into what you want and need. Sex positivity exists on a spectrum. Take a moment to reflect upon how sex positive you are and where there is room for improvement. — All of us can improve our sex positivity and contribute to a healthier society around sex.
How Sex Positivity Shows Up in Therapy
Have you ever felt like you couldn’t share your sexual desires with anyone? That they needed to be kept a secret or remain something to be ashamed of? — If you’ve ever felt shame about your desires, body, or sexual experiences, working with a sex positive therapist can be genuinely transformative.
While all therapists are ethically expected to approach clients without bias, the reality is that not every therapist is truly sex positive. Some may even, consciously or not, impose their own beliefs or discomfort about sex onto the therapeutic space. If you're looking to explore your relationship with sex, whether it's unpacking shame, clarifying desires, or simply learning more about yourself, finding a therapist who embraces sex positivity is likely the right move. It ensures your exploration is met with curiosity, respect, and informed support.
Validates and affirms your sexual identity and preferences.
Helps you untangle shame, trauma, or fear related to sex
Supports open conversations around desire, relationships, or gender identity.
Embraces LGBTQ+, kink, neurodivergent, and non-monogamous clients with care.
Encourages open, nonjudgmental conversations about sexual exploration—whatever that exploration looks like.
Therapy is a powerful space to rewrite the stories we’ve inherited around sex—especially if those stories were rooted in fear or control.
Sex Positivity in Relationships
Sex positivity in the context of relationships can drastically improve intimacy, connection and trust. Think about being in a relationship where you knew, no matter what you desired or wanted in the bedroom, that the conversation would be met with open-mindedness and even respect. We should all be able to honestly share our sexual preferences and values with our partner, and yet so many people don’t feel they can open up without judgement. Sex positivity can completely transform how we connect with others. It creates space for:
Honest conversations about desires and boundaries
More playful and exploratory intimacy
Respect for differing libidos or preferences
Conflict resolution rooted in compassion
Whether you’re dating, partnered, solo-poly, or figuring it out, sex positivity invites deeper connection.
Sex Positivity vs. Sex Negativity
Sex negativity is the idea that sex is inherently bad, dirty, or dangerous. It's the cultural script many of us grew up with—especially in abstinence-only education, religious communities, or traditional gender roles. Sexual negativity and sexual shame can have life-long effects on an individual’s relationship with sex. Early messages from parents, religion, culture, and society at large, can condition a person to view sex with intense judgement and shame, both towards the self and others.
Sex positivity challenges that narrative by:
Promoting education over fear
Empowering people to make informed choices
Encouraging pleasure, curiosity, and honesty
Affirming all sexual identities
Eradicating shame and supporting empowerment
How to Start Your Own Sex Positive Journey
If you’ve gotten this far and are curious about how to become more sex positive, you don’t need a roadmap—you just need curiosity and care. Here are some tips to get started:
Learn more. Read books, listen to sex positive podcasts, follow educators.
Reflect. What messages did you grow up with around sex? Do they still serve you?
Practice communication. Even small convos can open big doors.
Work with a therapist. Especially one who understands sex positivity.
Challenge shame. Notice where it shows up, and try replacing it with compassion.
Stop Judgement. Notice when you judge others for their sexual endeavors and instead, bring curiosity to your judgement.
Explore. Keep an open mind to what you might be into. Give new things a try.
It’s your journey to embark on. Becoming more sex positive should feel good and expansive. You never know— you might just enter your sex renaissance era!
If for any reason you find yourself struggling, don’t be afraid to reach out for additional support.
Intersectionality Matters
Sex positivity isn’t one-size-fits-all. Cultural background, race, disability, neurodivergence, gender identity, and trauma history all influence how people experience, express, and access their sexuality. For many, barriers like systemic racism, ableism, fatphobia, or homophobia can distort the way sex and desirability are perceived—or even who is allowed to safely explore pleasure at all.
True sex positivity must actively include and uplift the voices and lived experiences of those who have been historically marginalized. That means recognizing that what feels liberating for one person may feel unsafe or inaccessible for another. It means holding space for complexity and honoring the many ways people navigate their sexual lives within social systems that often fail to affirm them.
Sex positivity, when grounded in intersectionality, becomes not just personal but collective healing.
Final Thoughts: You’re Allowed to Own Your Sexuality
Being sex positive doesn’t mean you have it all figured out. It means you’re willing to explore what feels authentic, consensual, and freeing for you. There’s no "right way" to be sexual—only the way that honors your body, your mind, and your heart.
You’re allowed to be curious. You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to be exactly where you are.
Ready to Explore Your Sexuality in a Safe, Affirming Space?
If you’re ready to unpack shame, deepen your self-understanding, or simply explore your sexuality in a space that honors your truth—I’m here. I offer sex-positive, kink-affirming, and sex work-affirming therapy that centers your autonomy, your desires, and your healing. You don’t have to navigate this alone. Reach out when you’re ready.
Optional Resources:
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
The Pleasure Mechanics Podcast
The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ support)
Scarleteen (Sex Ed for young adults)
Interested in working with a sex positive therapist? I offer affirming, compassionate therapy for high-achieving, emotionally attuned individuals ready to break free from shame and connect more deeply—with themselves and others.